Self-punishment
You mistreat or sabotage, or allow others to mistreat you and abuse you as a way to compensate for any sin (error or failure) you have not forgiven yourself.
Repeating the same pattern of behavior you hate (your parents)
In the area you are hurt, you're going to be hurting others ... you repeat the pattern of your parents because you were filled with resentment towards your parents for some of their behaviors and never healed, and now the pain makes you keep doing the same things you hated. The pain always comes out, you're getting even unconsciously.
Abusing other people
Men who beat their wives, parents who beat up their children, etc., have typically stored pain from wounds of the past. There is so much pain and so little love they received, which manifests itself with that aggressive behavior. Also usually a way to compensate for the lack of love: "I see you have a good life and you do better than me, so I take it out making you have a miserable life like mine."
- Bullying (exploit those disadvantaged)
- Wounding with the words, insults, criticism, disapproval.
Close up to someone (opposite reaction)
Wounds can be expressed by protecting yourself by closing up emotionally toward other people: toward his love, to what he offers you, towards his presence. For example, when you resent because you did not get what you asked for and when you get it, now you do not want it. You opened your heart and were rejected, and now when the person gives you the love and the attention, you do not want it, you close yourself up to receiving anything from that person. People who wanted to go out on a date with you: you were dying for dating him or her ... and he or she reacts when you no longer want.
To act out your hurt
Over demonstrate your hurt to other so that they realize how hurt you are... you appear sad, you turn away, you suffer, etc. It is a way of punishing the person who hurt you (making them feel miserable with your pain). It is a way of saying "Comfort me, I'm hurt, I'm hurt" ... or a claim form: "You were a beast with me, be more careful the next time".
To stay in an abusive relationship
They treat you badly ... and you stay there. Have a boyfriend (a) He is a lout and you are completely in love but who treated you well, you stopped dating him. Healthy people choose healthy people. You are blind to the signs. Remember the wounds, negative expectations and judgments in bitterness can sabotage you to not receive good, and end with the person who will give you what your wounds expect.
Self-pity
The feeling of self-pity or victim, is a typical manifestation of the wounds, you have lived due to bad experiences. Feel sorry for yourself (sorry), you feel the martyr, you feel they have messed up your life. A healthy person, however, for the work of consolation of the Spirit, gives thanks for the bad experiences (it is above the circumstances). Many people have forgiven, but still feel they ruined their lives because the healing process is not completed.
Explode with people (burst of anger)
Because you are emotionally loaded with all those negative feelings, you easily explode with people: you are pouring your pain, you are having your "therapy", crying, getting angry, mistreating, scolding, insulting, etc. Being a person of "short fuse" or "impatient" usually for this reason. It is often imperceptible when you get to this situation because you were filled with anger little by little ... and you never dealt with your anger at the moment.
Susceptible to criticism (can't stand any of it)
It is a way in which hypersensitivity manifests. Nobody can give you a constructive criticism because you can not take well.
Rebellion toward your Parents
When parents have failed to meet the emotional needs of their children, it produces a rebellion: the children are resentful because they were not there, because there was no love, and they rebel against parents. Of course it´s not always the case, sometimes it is the rebellious nature. But the rebellion due to the wound can be identified if it is accompanied by a resentment toward the parents.
Being cold, unloving
A person who did not receive affection during their childhood, is injured, and manifests it by, not loving and having a "hardened heart" becoming a cold person. Love receptors were damaged (empty and broken glass) with wounds so it takes a lot of effort to show or receive love. They will express more easily insults, rejections and threats, because it is what they received.
Asperger Syndrome (slumbering spirit)
Within the Christian area some call it the "slumbering spirit": for it is as if the spirit of the person is asleep, or any part of it does not work (does not flow the spirit in that area, so it is asleep or dead). Usually caused by lack of physical affective contact from the parents (remember that people who lacked this when baby do not develop well parts of their brain).
- Inability to empathize or meet the needs of others.
- Does not feel the presence of God
- No revelation, understanding.
- They can´t tune in the talks.
- Doesn´t understand sarcasm and other expressions.
- No inspiration there is no creativity.
- Is confined to the present, so he sinks easily.
- Is easily crushed with the disease
- They can live in sin without feeling bad
To isolate yourself
The isolation is often a defense mechanism against their injuries (rejections, humiliation, etc.). Isolated people often create pretexts to not recognize the real reason: "do not have problems with anyone."
To withdraw from people, to be shy
Many people are retracted or do not have a very open personality because they lacked love, acceptance, praise therefore they are very unsure of themselves. Usually due because parents neglected their emotional needs.
To project oneself on other people
You think other people have your fears, your pain, and you become oversensitive and fearful of injuring other people, or we transmit to other our fears and traumas (The Lion thinks everyone is like him).
Distorted perception of God
When there are unhealed wounds there is a conflict between what you think about God and what you feel about God. The experience we had in our relationship with our parents (male figure) will affect our relationship with God. Why? Because we project on God the image we had of our earthly parents ... besides injuries affect all kinds of relationships and our relationship with God is no exception. We know that God is slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy and love, that forgives and seeks our good.
- Inability to feel God's love and forgiveness
They know in theory that God loves them , but do not feel: do not feel the love of God. And come out of the presence of God empty. They have failed to receive the forgiveness, they feel unworthy for what they have done, or had a parent who constantly expressed disapproval or didn´t gave them love. Or they feel that God wants them to receive evil things.
- Inability to trust God
If you did not have a loving father, but one that failed you, betrayed your trust, or who did not take their responsibilities, or simply do not love you . You might pray and anxiety will not go away, you don´t believe that God is in charge of your problems. An important principle of this failure is that God created us so that we could not trust or surrender to anyone who we fear. This principle makes it very difficult, if not impossible, for many people to surrender to God´s love.
- Inability to feel valued by God
Experiences with their parents that made them feel less or that humiliated them or complained about the burden they were (economically), makes them feel that God does not value them .
- Inability to be intimate with God
There are people who by their experiences of "abandonment" or "absence" they had with their parents, hinders them from developing an intimate relationship with God, because they feel apathy and disinterest from God towards them.
- Inability to rest in God, to trust him
People who had a father who constantly disapproved them, or did not gave compliments, or that it was hard to please feel God is the same: you feel you have to try until you bleed so you can please him ... yet it is difficult. You can not sit still and enjoy God's presence because they feel they have to be continually working to please Him ... because they feel God doesn´t love them for who they are but for what they do for him.
Intellectual and theological questions
Many of theological questions and disbelief that people have is not based on reason but on emotion. The wounds won´t let them accept the existence of a God who loves them, for example, because they resented because God didn´t heal a family member, or because his father abandoned them, hurting the image of God. That´s why for some people it is easier to accept the concept of an "impersonal god" in the form of energy (Eastern religions).
Neurotic perfectionism
It's not the same as pursuing excellence. Its ok to seek excellence for art's sake, or beacuse of love to God, but its not ok to feel your value depends on that. In this case its value lies in how well they do their job; making mistakes makes them feel inferior ... The neurotic perfectionist strives constantly and compulsively to be acceptable and valuable to God or others for their work. He measures his relationship with God in terms of execution or achievements (which makes them fall into the vicious circle of seeking to please a God who is impossible to please). The root is the idea/feeling that they have of a God difficult to please (who rejects) -accompanied by a constant feeling of disapproval. But they feel God is just unfair for them, but treat others fairly. Often they have serious problems of isolation for fear of being rejected by their imperfections, so they are somewhat oversensitive and continuously defend themselves against criticism. All this makes them predispose to the rejection and disapproval they fear falling into a vicious circle. "People do not want to accept you unless you're perfect"
Irrational aversion to something
I am afraid of the dark, the water, stairs, etc. traumatic experience.
Fixations (tics)
Scratching or biting, tic, "sindrom OCD" (obsessive compulsive disorder), smoking: expression of situations that violated their natural limits, "they could not keep the marriage of his parents together" -a deep stress because they felt that his world broke with the divorce of his parents. Profound uncertainty, fear, anxiety, worry, "the attempt to have some control, some security" must have some money, continuous hand washing, have control of what goes into the mouth (cigar); or accumulate things, etc.
Inability to show vulnerability
Being vulnerable is the ability to open your heart, and show up your feelings. To say "I need you", "it hurt me what you did," "I love you". A healthy heart can be hurt and continue with an open heart. The ability to suffer the offense and go on with an open heart. The courage to take risks, the courage to venture and risk. This is developed by the emotional physical contact.
Heart of stone
Product of the lack of love and receiving rough and bad treatment. In this symptom you can minister and love other people but do not let them love you and be pampered (rejects it because "I will not be loved, accepted"). 76% of cancer patients have this personality. Defense mechanism to protect us from others (rejections we received), so we need to be, strong, good, unblemished ... do not let anyone intimate emotionally with us. We become tough and isolated ... etc. Minister to others but do not let others minister to him.
Pleasers
Do not know how to say no, always going to be an extension of another person ... "I'll do anything to win or please people." Have compulsive behavior, they do not dare to be different.
Inability to feel loved or valued or secure or accepted or with purpose
A person without Christ usually has an emotional void but if healthy, can feel the love, security assessment, acceptance and purpose (though not satisfied, he can feel it). But when wounded ... can not feel anything, and therefore, in a more notorious form feels less, or insecure, or rejected, or that his life has no value, or no one will see him (her) .
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario