Inner Healing 4: Symptoms Detonators and Wound

Inner Healing 4: Detonators and Wound symptoms

1. Wound detonators

   1. Wounds in childhood stage

      1. Emotional needs are not met by parents
         1. Affectionate physical touch
            1. The lack of this
            2. Physical, sexual abuse
         2. Verbal expression of affection
            1. Lack of this
            2. Words of hatred, contempt
         3. Praise, Compliments, Approval
            1. The absence of this
            2. Insults, humiliation, scorn, comparisons, bulling
         4. Description of a good future
            1. The absence of this
            2. Negative statements about his future: "You will be good for nothing", "everything will go wrong with your wife, you will see", "you will always be a loser"
         5. Spending time together
            1. Absent parents, rejection
            2. Mom or dad leaving the family, not spend time with them because they spend their time with friends or other commitments. Do not attend important events, not paying attention, raised by the nanny, or grandparents, etc.
         6. An active engagement to bless
            1. Abandonment of parenthood or motherhood responsibilities
            2. Provide economically with complaints, or stingy, do not care about child's needs, gives leftovers, etc.
         7. Discipline
            1. Failing at this (perceived as "not caring")
            2. Discipline made with hatred or wrongly, with abuse.
      2. Some consequences
         1. When there is a lack of effective contact, the brain doesn't develop correctly.
         2. Effect of an absent father :
            1. 90% of those living on the street
            2. 85% of under-age kids in jail
            3. 71% of educational drop outs
            4. 120% more likely to be victims of some type of abuse
            5. 85% of children with a behavioral disorder
            6. 63% of children who commit suicide
            7. 7 times more chances of an unwanted pregnancy
            8. They are more aggressive, obesity
            9. Increases the rate of depression
            10. Divorce rate increases
            11. Increases the rate of drug abuse
            12. Decreased academic performance
            13. Decreases life expectancy
            14. Average income decreases
            15. Decreases job security
            16. reduces health
            17. Daughters with a dad who lived and did activities with them finish college, earn more money, have better jobs, have more fulfilling emotionally, stable and loving relationships with men.
      3. Examples
         1. The daughter who suffered the abandonment of her father = can not accept God for he supposedly is a loving Father
         2. My Father, who would always complain about providing us = not worthy
         3. Dad who had her daughter going on public bus while he had several cars parked available = abuse
         4. The daughter who suffered from her father's lack of commitment = when an adult she breaks the relationship with the ideal boyfriend and marries the worst.
         5. Dad who would punch her daughter and mistreat her = husband who abuse physically from her
      4. Mechanism wound
         1. The damaged area generates a negative expectation that hinders the person from receiving the contrary (acceptance vs rejection), so people sabotage themselves and end with the person who gives them what the wound expects.
            1. father who was absent = absent husband
            2. father who abused physically = husband who mistreats
            3. father who did not provide = husband who does not provide
            4. drunk and abusive father = child who is drunk and abusive
            5. father who is not affectionate  = son who is not affectionate
         2. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” ( Ephesians 6: 2-3 )
            1. That area where you have dishonored your father or your mother with bitterness (unforgiveness) or with hatred against them in that area you will struggle.
            2. This happens until you repent, forgive and heal.

   2. Prenatal Wounds

      1. A baby before birth, in spirit, knows and experiences what happens outside the womb
         1. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. (Luke 1:41-44)
      2. That's why a baby can be hurt and have sinful reactions, even before birth
         Many of sinful attitudes are rooted in wounds and sins done before birth.
         
         1. Well do I know how treacherous you are, you were called a rebel from birth. (Isaiah 48:8)
         2. Even from birth the wicked go astray, from the womb they are wayward, spreading lies. (Psalm 58:3)
      3. Detonators
         Wounds acquired by children in the womb can result from traumatic events that happened in the environment or the circumstances surrounding pregnancy. Most injuries are the result of sinful behavior and attitudes of the parents.
         1. Conception out of wedlock; in inopportune time, or after several miscarriages. 
            The child knows. he feels rejection, that is not wanted, or that has no right to be, and usually absorb the feelings affecting the mother (shame, anxiety, fear, etc.). Symptoms that may develop:
            1. He can go on all his life looking for their right to be ("I am not loved because I exist, I am loved because I earn it")
               • Activism, workaholic, performance oriented.
            2. He can get the desire to die
               • He doesn't want to be here because he was not desired in the first place.
            3. He can acquire a sense of insecurity
               • Insatiable desire affection  
                 the real issue is never satisfied: Am I really loved, accepted or chosen?; or
               • Reject any kind of affection.
            4. miscarriages
               • Usually mothers protect themselves emotionally trying not to get emotionally "bind" with the child because of fear of losing the child (not thrilled). The child experiences it as abandonment and rejection.
         2. When you want the baby to be a specific gender and turns out another
            the baby receives the message: "I am a mistake"
            1. He can become a person looking at their performance to earn the right to be, but with a sense of failure: "no matter how hard I to be Daddy's son (or daugher) I dont feel right, because first of all I am a mistake" .
            2. It can cause rebellion: "I will not do anything because it will be useless, I am not accepted as I am," or revenge for the rejection.
            3. It can cause fear and insecurity, inner struggles.
            4. Men can have effeminate behavior, and manly behavior in woman.
            5. He can fall into homosexuality: when it falls in it it feels so good that he believes was created that way, but God does not create homosexuals. All he is doing is to believe the lie that he received in the womb and believe that he found the truth about himself.
         3. When the child is placed for adoption 
            He knows from the womb when they plan to give him in adoption. He receives it as rejection
            1. It might be insatiable emotionally 
               As he is not emotionally linked to his natural parents, he can not be linked emotionally with anyone else, sabotages: the glass is broken in the area of love and acceptance, so he rejects it.
            2. It can become a compulsive liar 
               When he was conceived by his parents he was given a promise: "I'll look after you, I'll feed you" but they turn that promise into a lie. And as they lied to him, he lies to others (as you judge others you condemn yourself)
            3. You can steal compulsively and deny it 
               When parents gave him up for adoption they stole his life, therefore he steals. (This applies to other situations like when you think God stole a loved one because he took his life). This symptom is a cry of pain ... a call for help.
            4. Cases of resentful babies who reject breastfed from their mothers.
         4. How was your prenatal stage?
            1. If you see that there is the fruit (resentment toward parents), then you have the root.
            2. Talk about the problem, investigate with parents and thereafter pray about it (following processes)

   3. Detonators at any age 

      1. Losses or tragedies
         Death of parents, children, accidents, etc.
      2. Divorces
         form your parents, and your marriage
      3. Humiliations
         In schools, from siblings, teachers, people in authority, etc.
      4. Abuses, injustices
         unjustified fired at work, unfair promotions for your peers, theft.
      5. Raped
         Abuses in sexuality 
      6. Deep frights
         Falls on stairs, locked in the closet, terrified of dogs, etc.
      7. Difficult situations (circumstances)
         There is nothing in particular, but just a general feeling of scarcity and difficulty that my embittered your life.
      8. Any offense
         Bad things that people have done against you.
      9. Anything that causes you to complaint
         details that hurt you in your relationships (spouse, boss, etc.) —Colossians 3:13
      10. Things you've done
          Un forgiveness for mistakes that you have done

2. Wound's Symptoms

   This section aims at help you find wounds based on symptoms or forms of expression (output mechanisms) which the wounds typically have. Some symptoms may also be the product of other things (unrenewed mind, emotional emptiness, lack of communion with God, not being saved, etc. Analogy hammer), not necessarily from a wound.

   1. Emotional pain

      When you bring to mind the event and the feeling is relived: tears come again, for example. You feel the humiliation, rejection, abandonment, a sense of hatred, indifference or that negative feeling you had when you were wounded.

   2. Unforgiveness

      Rancor, resentment, feeling that "the debt is not paid," they still owe you, "they have to pay". Most wounds bring strong resentment. Sometimes we are aware of them; sometimes not. Resentment may be against a loved one (you love, but you're resentful) and even against God (even though you still love him and want to serve).

   3. Bitterness

      negative, pessimistic attitude or disgust with life or situations in general ... feeling that they "screwed you life." You filter life through all the wounds that you have,—as in the case of the smelly cheese the grandchildren smeared on the mustache of their grandfather. Product of the lack of consolation (divine perspective on life).

   4. hypersensitivity

      The damaged area increases receptors' volume (becomes more sensitive) to sense any little thing that could touch the damaged area and thus protect it (the case in physical injury, the affected area is hypersensitive causing pain when touched). The problem is that this leads to a vicious circle because now even the slightest touch is misinterpreted and taken as an attack on you, resulting in more damage and more pain and sensitivity. Example: You feel rejection when nobody is rejecting you, just for misinterpreting the most insignificant details. You feel you are disapproved and humiliated when you got a little feedback. You feel someone does not like you because he did not call you back or looked at you in a ugly way...  You think people thinks you are ugly... you are like a paranoid person who thinks everybody is trying to harm you.

   5. Negative expectancy

      "Fear" or expectation of people hurting you again is another symptom. Develop a belief, based on your wound, that will do it again if you allow it. You are afraid to undertake new things, afraid to love again, to get involved in a new relationship, fear to integrate into a group, fear of being betrayed, etc. And not just for the things they did to you, but also for the things you did.

   6. Not being able to receive or retain the contrary of what the wound fears

      Since sensibility increases because of the pain, any friction is misunderstood and taken as an offense by the negative expectation there. That area is closed to receive the good (the contrary to the negative feeling that produced the wound). That sabotages our lives: we do not receive the good we want, but the bad we expect. We tune the person to behave in the negative way we expect, and he doesn't tune, we turn away from his life. Thus, because of your wound, you end up getting only what you expect anywhere from anybody: "I'm never loved", "I always get rejected or relegated" "people never value my work", "No one cares for me", etc.

   7. Bitter judgments

      Judgments that you emit in your resentment. Generalizations you state for the emotional injuries that someone has done to you, "men are insensitive," "I will always be mistreated and falsely accused," "all women are unfaithful", etc. The statement can be done internally in your toughts, or verbally. The problem with this judgment or generalization is that not only blocks you even more from the good you do not expect, but it takes you to receive what you judged (as neurolinguistic programming). David did this but in a positive way:
      1. Praise the Lord, my soul, all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits. (Psalm 103: 1-2)
      2. Case of the woman who could not breastfeed
      3. Case of the woman had no breast formed

   8. Hate

      The desire to harm someone (even a little bit). Usually is the product of pain that the other person inflicted to you.

   9. Revenge

      Wanting to get even for what someone did to you. The desire to return the pain and suffering. To seeking justice in our own hands to ease our pain (different from seeking justice to stop the negative effects on other people).

   10. Passive aggressive anger

       Highly educated people who treat you well and try to be kind and loving, but "under the table", they come up with hateful and abusive attitudes (because they have not healed the wounds of their hearts)

   11. continuous complain (reclaim)

       The episodes that hurt you in the past that you bring again and again at any oportunity you may have to make feel guilty the person who did it to you. It is a way to "pour out" the pain of the unhealed wound.