Inner Healing 3: Original Design

1. Jesus in the original design

   1. Analogy hurt little child running to his father

      1. The union between God and man
      2. Separation: we do not have a place to deposit our sorrows and be comforted.

   2. He lived terrible situations that would embitter the life of anyone

      1. He asked God to deliver him from this difficulty , 
         "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me ... And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.. "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him." (Luke 22: 42, 44, 43)
      2. He was betrayed and sold to those who wanted to kill him (Luke 22:1-6)
      3. They left him alone in the most critical moment ( Mark 14:50)
      4. Denied by his followers (Luke 22:34)
      5. He was despised and rejected (Isaiah 53:3)
      6. He suffered defeat, the "failure" of his mission (Isaiah 49:4)
      7. Falsely accused (Mark 14: 56,57)
      8. Unfair trial (Mark 15:14-15)
      9. Condemned to a shameful death (Luke 23:33)
      10. Tortured, Flagellated, Whipped (Luke 18:33, John 19:1)
      11. They pulled out his beard and spit on him (Isaiah 50:6)
      12. Reviled, mocked ( Mark 15: 29-32, Isaiah 50:6)

   3. But he was above all those circumstances

      The people to whom he healed sentenced him to death, but he didn't adopted a position of selfcompassion, he didn't feel sorry for himself:
      1. In his most critical moment he was feeling compassion for the people
         
         As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. Jesus turned and said to them, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say: Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed. Then they will say o the mountains, "Fall on us" and to the hills "Cover us". For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?" (Luke 23:26-31) 
      2. He forgave his executioners and detractors:
         When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. (Luke 23:33-34)

   4. What was going through His mind at that time? (Psalm 22)

      1. He was doing his healing process naturally
         ... like that child running into the arms of his Father
         1. He poured out his pain, his fears, his anguish before God
         2. He received consolation from God
         3. He forgave his offenders
         4. He gave thanks-praise for that experience
      2. Psalm 22: What Jesus was praying at the crucifixion. 
         About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” (which means “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”). (Matthew 27:46)
         1. Pours out his pain 
            My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest (Psalm 22:1-2) 
         2. Gets consolation 
            Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises. In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them.  To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. (Psalm 22:3-5)
            
         3. Pours out his pain 
            But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone, despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads. “He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.” (Psalm 22:6-8)
         4. Gets comforted 
            Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. (Psalm 22:9-10) 
         5. Pours out his pain, his emotions (Philippians 4:6)
            
            Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help. Many bulls surround me; strong bulls of Bashan encircle me. Roaring lions that tear their prey open their mouths wide against me. I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me. My mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death. Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet. All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me. Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs. Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen. (Psalm 22:11-21) 

            1. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)
         6. Gets comforted 
            I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you. You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel! For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. (Psalm 22:22-24) 
         7. Ends ups with praise and thanksgiving: 
            
            From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows. The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the Lord will praise him— may your hearts live forever! All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations. All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him— those who cannot keep themselves alive. Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it! (Psalm 22:25-31)
            1. fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)
         8. And what about forgiveness? He also included it in the process: 
            When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. (Luke 23: 33-34)
      3. Jesus was protecting his heart so he would not stop receiving the grace (love) of God in his life.
         1. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.  (Hebrews 12:15)
            1. You'll no longer receive the grace of God
            2. it troubles you
            3. It defiles (corrupts) others
         2. The wounds are one of the determining factors for us not feeling God's love and that we continue feeling the emotional void in our lives.
            1. Our cup is broken ... and even if God´s love is poured out in it, it cannot be retained, we do not feel it.
            2. So it is not a matter of only pouring out our pain, but a matter of filling our cup with God´s love too.

2. Emotional needs

   1. In the original design

      1. Advantages of union with God
         1. We can empty out our pain (as we saw)
         2. We can receive God's comfort (as we saw)
         3. We can fulfill our emotional needs: Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known. (John 1:16-18)
            
            
      2. Which emotional needs? 
         They are called "deep needs" because most people are not aware of them despite most things we do are influenced by them (by that emotional hunger).
         1. Love: we all have the need for someone to look out for us and our wellbeing
            1. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life only to take it up again (John 10:17)
            2. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.(John 15:9)
            3. ..because you loved me before the creation of the world. (John 17:24)
         2. Acceptance (to belong): need to be accepted as you are, to be part of someone or something.
            
            1. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17)
            2. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.(John 8:29)
            3. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God (John 13:3)
         3. Appreciated (feel valued): need for someone to recognize that you are valuable, important.
            
            1. Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father. (John 5:22-23)
            2. Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. (John 8:54)
         4. Security: the need for someone to protect you and to be with you when you need help
            
            1. Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly? (Matthew 26:53)
               
            2. But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. (John 16:32)
         5. Purpose (transcendence): the need for a reason to live, to exist.
            1. The reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. (John 18:37)
               
            2. “Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came! (John 12:27)
               
            3. Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else, to the nearby villages, so I can preach there also. That is why I have come" (Mark 1:38)
      3. This explains the behavior of Jesus
         1. His fullness to give love ( John 1:16-18)
         2. His Indomitability (not being able to be manipulated)
         3. His strength to continue by "alone"

   2. This feeling of emptiness can only be filled by God

      It makes sense, because we were created to have a relationship with him through which we can feel our emotional fulfillment.
      1. Only God can satisfy
         1. If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water... Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life (John 4:10-14)
         2. My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water,
            and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water (Jeremiah 2:13)
      2. Through his Spirit
         1. ¨Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.¨ By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified (John 7: 37-39).
         2. God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:5)
      3. It manifests feeling a fullness (satiety)
         1. will never thirst (John 4:14)
         2. my cup overflows (Psalm 23:5)
         3. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.. (John 10:10)
         4. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself. (Ephesians 1:23)
      4. That's why every human being must restore their relationship with God :
         1. Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given ... No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known(John 1:18)
      5. If we don't satisfy our emotional needs with God, we will use the things of this world to supply them:
         1. Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:15-16)
         2. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.(James 4:1-4)
      6. But since only God can satisfy us, they are a hoax
         1. The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. (Matthew 13:22)
         2. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. (Matthew 16:25)
      7. This emotional need determines our motivation
         1. Selfish person: moved by the emotional emptiness
            "But everything they do is done for people to see" (Matthew 23:5) 
            Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. (Matthew 6:1)
            If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:3)
         2. for Love: moved by its fullness. 
            Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 ) 
            so that it will not be obvious to others [what you do] that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:18)
            Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10)

   3. Habits and behavioral patterns developed due to our separation from God ( Ephesians 2:12 , Romans 3:23)

      We have learned to deal in many ways with our emotional void ... and if we do not reform the way we deal with it, we will be disqualified.
      2. Artificial means to supply our needs
         1. Get married to "be happy" (believing your spouse will supply your emotional hunger)
         2. Emotional blackmail for someone to be with you or do your will (believing your are loved that way)
         3. Manipulating people so they do or become into what makes you "happy" (when in reality nothing will make you happy)
         4. Your position, your wealth, how people look at you, what car you have
         5. Your business, your ministry, your title, etc.
         6. Get fame, a degree, success, greatness.
      3. Cases
         1. A father with his daughter asking her to fill his cup (parents without emotional paternity)
         2. Wife satisfying her emptiness with her husband 
            being absorbent, possessive ... and of course it doesn't work, so she gets whiny, angry, dissatisfied.
         3. Leaders meeting their needs through their sheep 
            Not letting them grow so that they "don´t go", making them dependent on them, preventing protruding. etc.
         4. Dads (moms) meeting their needs with their children
            1. Many children are emotional parents to their parents ( Hebrews 7:7)
      4. It disqualifies us
         1. An emotional child is selfish and directed by the flesh. it can not be a spiritual leader. He is disqualified 
            He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. (1 Timothy 3:6)
         2. Idols: everything that you use to satisfy your emotional needs becomes an idol.
      5. Conclusion
         1. This is not only a matter of healing the wounds ... it is a matter of healing them so:
            1. you can feel the fullness that God offers
            2. you can generate the maturity that He demands from you
            3. you can love God above all else
         2. It is a matter of learning how to meet your emotional needs in God.
            1. This will involve changing habits: to leave old ways and substitute them by new ones
            2. (We'll see more about this at the end).

3. Wound detonators

   Situations that tend to produce wounds within the average human being (we have normal reactions due to our sinful nature)

   1. Emotional needs unmet during childhood

      Parents are responsible for meeting the emotional needs of their children (in addition to their physical and spiritual needs). What expressions do make a child feel a beloved, accepted, valued, safe and purposeful?
      1. Affectionate physical touch
         The brain of a baby will not develop well if he does not get affectionate physical touch. The physical expression of affection is CRUCIAL.
         1. Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them. (Mark 10:16)
         2. Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me¨. So he went to him and kissed him. (Genesis 27:26-27)
         3. So he got up and went to his father. ¨But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. (Luke 15:20)
         4. No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known. (John 1:18)
         5. Wrong:
            1. The absence of this expression
            2. When beating them up is the only physical contact they receive
      2. Verbal expression of affection
         "I love you", "I miss you ", etc.
         1. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11)
         2. I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again. (2 Timothy 1:4)
         3. Wrong:
            1. the absence
            2. Hateful expressions or conditioning the affection "if you don't do it, I will no longer love you"
      3. Praise and Approval
         A newborn knowing nothing about himself, and because of his innocence, is highly suggestive to any description anyone gives him. Your words have formative power.
         1. Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. (Genesis 27:27)
         2. I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. (2 Timothy 1:5)
         3. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 4:17)
         4. I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. ²¹ For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. ²² But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.(Philippians 2:20-22)
         5. Wrong:
            1. The lack of this
            2. Insult, continued disqualification and overcriticism 
      4. Description of a particular future (words of blessing)
         1. he... blessed them. (Mark 10:16)
         2. [Isaac to Jacob] May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.(Genesis 27:28-29)
         3. So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: ¨Do not marry a Canaanite woman. Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother´s father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother´s brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples. May he give you and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now reside as a foreigner, the land God gave to Abraham.¨ (Genesis 28:1-4)
         4. Wrong
            1. The absence of this
            2. Cursing over his/her future
      5. Spending time together
         The kid has to see you, you shape him by your testimony, the way you live, by watching you how you behave in various situations. That's why God designed your children to live with you ... is part of the original design. Be careful: if you do not spend time with them!
         1. Like a son with his father, he has served with me in preaching the Good News. (Philippians 2:20-22)
         2. Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach (Mark 3:14)
         3. Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. (John 5:19-20)
         4. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.(Deuteronomy 6:7)
         5. Wrong
            1. The absence of this
            2. To not share your life with your children.
      6. Active commitment to bless
         Dedicate resources like time, money, education, to help the child to fulfill his purpose. To give priority and importance to the life and preparation of the little one.
         1. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:11-13)
         2. Your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! (Matthew 6:8)
         3. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you- you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  (Matthew 6:30-32)
         4. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less? (2 Corinthians 12:14-15 )
         5. Wrong
            1. Irresponsible (abandonment)
            2. Stinginess, the constant complaint.
      7. Discipline
         To discipline the kids in love is an ignored expression of love and care for the children. It is a way they feel loved. At the moment they do not see it, but when seeing the results they thank their parents (Hebrews 12:11 )
         1. Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24 )
         2. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child. (Hebrews 12:6)
         3. Wrong
            
            1. The absence of this
            2. Bad or too harsh discipline given without a loving environment.